Define Me

I saw "Define Me" by Ryan Amador featuring Jo Lampert earlier today. To say I cried is an understandment. I sobbed until I could no longer speak.




It's not enough that I am bisexual, but also disabled and fat. To imagine the hateful words that would cover my body, as I watched the video, I wanted to scream but couldn't. This song and video ripped out my heart and soul until I was a complete mess.

To know that there are others out there who feel this way.....it's so beyond wrong. I want to wrap my arms around those people who are lonely, betrayed by family, hurt, bullied and in pain and say YOU ARE SO LOVED.

You want to talk about the Bible and "sinning" well....I'll save my true words for when you DARE say it to my face. God isn't about hate. God is about LOVE. And GOD told me, to my heart, that we are ALL made in His image.

That's right, I'm going to say it: God is gay.

AND lesbian, transgender, bisexual, queer and straight. If God can manage being The Holy Trinity, I don't think He has a problem taking on all the sexual and gender identies HE created.

Get used to it.

Food Allergies--Nothing to "sneeze" at!

I am SO proud of my daughter--she has been accepted to the University of Florida! I'm now MomofaGator ;) Even though she didn't get into the honors program at UF (only 30% of applicants were accepted--and she can reapply), I am *so* proud of the following essay she submitted. 

We discovered her brother had anaphylactic food allergies when he was 3 and she was 10. Over the years, she not only learned how to use an epipen, she took first aid/CPR classes, learned how to decipher ingredient labels (food, medicine, creams, etc), how to advocate for him at a restaurant if we were not there, and adapt recipes at home for him.

In IB, she has to do a 2 year project--originally she wanted to do one on food allergy awareness and cooking education--how to make safe recipes, adapt recipes, avoid cross-contamination, etc. It was just *too* huge and the liability was too great.

So she forwarded her essay to me--usually she has me (the English major) proof and give feedback. But she submitted this as is. It made both me and her brother cry. For those of you worried about the teen years....for those of you with food allergic children--know that there are good teens and advocates for your kids out there.
Her essay:

The prompt was, if you could start a local business or
charity what would you do and whom would it benefit? describe your startup
process. (300 word limit) 

 I would open a restaurant oriented towards people with
food allergies and I would offer a variety of vegetarian and vegan foods as
well as foods free of common allergens such as milk, gluten, shellfish, and
nuts. This idea is inspired by my brother who has severe food allergies, and
each time we go to a restaurant my parents have to ask a lot of questions and
work hard to make sure my brother doesn’t ingest something that could kill him.

My restaurant would be a place where people with allergies could dine without
such worries, and meet with other people who share the same problem. To start up I’d obviously need a restaurant building, preferably located in a busy area where many people can access it. I’d make sure the cooks hired were trained in cooking allergen-free food and were diligent in avoiding cross-contamination between ingredients. I’d have to carefully select food suppliers conducive to allergen-free food (for example, purchase bread made without milk or eggs, and chocolate that hadn’t been processed in the same facility as nuts). The waiters and cleaning staff would also have to receive similar training to avoid cross-contamination and friendly service. 

I am not sure where I’d get the money for all of this; perhaps I could find a person or persons living in the area willing to invest in my business. In addition, I’d like to offer low-cost cooking classes that teach people how to cook allergen-free, especially children and families that have people with allergies. I would also like to raise money for allergy research through the business and promote public awareness of the cause. ~~"ScienceSlayer" (MS, 2013)

Love and equality

The next few days are important. Cases being decided will define us, the United States. Do we truly want to be the Land of the FREE? Love is love. There is no reason to deny any human being their right to be LEGALLY married to the person they love. To deny families the LEGAL right to be a family. To use shame and bigotry to harm another human being.

This I believe, with all my heart and soul. Sadly, I was not always this way but GOD changed my heart. Yes, that's right, I said GOD. And who is anyone to tell me differently?

I am proud of my family and friends, gay, straight, bisexual, lesbian, transgender--or however you define yourself--who stand up for what is right and good and humane. Who see the bigger picture and respect that which is an inalienable right--to LOVE.

I am bisexual. I'm saying it here, out loud.

Am I really any different now that I've "said" that, who you thought I was a few minutes ago? I love my husband, my kids, my family , my friends. I like to write, quilt, paint my fingernails, cuddle with my dog, stand up against bullies, cheer on my favorite hockey team, cry at movies, get lost in a good book. Am I really that different from you?

I just happen to also like women.

The only sad thing about this is that I have to "hide" this part of me from certain people because of their small-minded ignorance. As do SO many people, here and around the world. THIS is wrong.

But not me, not the way I was born, not who I love.

Cravebox--The Dog Box

I have been a member of Cravebox since day one--a Beta member. As such, I've gotten nearly every box that has come out. Cravebox used to be a subscription service, but it recently changed to a drawing for the boxes. Like the sound of a box? Sign up and you might get chosen! By taking surveys you can earn "guaranteed choice" points which means you will get a box of your choice.

Last year I got the first Dog Box for Willow, our 5yo adopted Malinois/Whippet Mix. She was so happy and so was I! When I saw there was another box available, I signed up and used a guarantee point. The cost of the box was $13 (boxes range between $10-$15 and include shipping).

Willow can't wait to sniff everything in her box!!

The January Dog Cravebox

Bissell Stomp & Go Stain Lifting Pads, Keen Dehydrated Dog Food, Sentry Calming Collar, True Chews Chicken Jerky Fillets and In a Dog's Heart by Jennifer Arnold

I was delighted by the variety in this box. While we have a dog food that we feed Willow, having a "gourmet treat" now and then is nice for her. The treats are always a favorite--she gets one after baths, grooming and nail trims (she gets so excited when anyone says BATH TIME!).

The other three items will come in handy as we are planning on adopting a rescue Pug this year! I've received several of the Stomp & Go pads from Cravebox (I won a whole cleaning box from Bissell and Febreeze during a Twitter party) and they look great for house training! 

The collar is a new product--it is scented with a "calming pheremone", as well as lavender & chamomile. The idea is to use it during vet trips, grooming, storms--any time a dog may feel stressed. It's good for 30 days, although I suppose it could be used for those times and stored in a air-tight container, and perhaps "recharged" by adding more essential oils. It's a smaller size--too small for Willow's neck I think. Besides, she's a rather mellow dog to begin with. But this will be great for our Pug!

A note--due to a Pug's anatomy, collars should only be used as decorative wear. Leashes should be attached to a harness so that pressure isn't applied to their head/neck.

Finally, as an avid reader, I was very happy to recieve Jennifer Arnold's book, In a Dog's Heart: A Compassionate Guide to Canine Care from Adopting to Teaching to Bonding. No matter how much you think you know about dogs, it is always good to brush up on new techniques and refresh your skills. I am a huge fan of Cesar Milan--his methods worked fantastic with Willow. She is the perfect mellow Submissive dog and sees us as her pack. But since I've never had a pug, I know I will glean something  from this book that will be helpful! Plus I just like to read books about animals.

Willow snuggling with her new treats

Overall, this is a great box, and once more, I'm a happy Craver--and so is Willow :)

2013--the Goals of a Headacheslayer

For years I have tried to keep "resolutions"......and wound up feeling like most people do by February--stuck in an old rut, unable to achieve those lofty goals. Fail.

So one year I changed it to New Year Goals. I know, semantics. But I'm an English major so that is right up my alley. Instead of putting down the usual "lose weight", "eat healthier", etc.....I started putting down things that would actually be fun and motivate me. I don't need a list to remind myself to eat healthy. And at the end of the year, how do you really calculate that?

I've been keeping a journal of these items--both resolutions and now goals--since 1997. It's fun to read through how I thought back then; not so fun for the cringe-worthy items. But now I look forward to picking up my journal throughout the year to either add or check off items.

There were *a lot* of things that did not get accomplished in 2012. Some were beyond my control, and that's ok. I can add them again this year without feeling like someone has tattooed a great big L on my forehead.

What I did do in 2012

• Worked on jewelry. I'm learning some new techniques, got new tools and findings, and made my very first pair of earrings as well as a bookmark.
• Created some items for my Zazzle store
• Read a dozen books (migraines kindof kicked my butt this year)
• Skype! I absolutely LOVE to Skype with my 3yo nephew--in fact, if he sees my face show up, he will "call" me LOL
• Dyed my hair in some awesome colors--pink, purple, and "new rose" (thanks to Manic Panic!)
• Became the Central Florida Representative for the Advisory Board of Jaylen's Challenge Foundation--BULLYING NO WAY!! (more on that in 2013!)
• Scary Mommy of the week!

Perhaps not the most impressive year for me (except for the Advisory Board! SO EXCITED!!!), but sometimes you just get busy living life, you know?

I've been working on my list for 2013.....and I'm sure it will be added to, edited and such before next year's end!

For 2013:

• Learn how to write grants--Part of my goal for how I can help Jaylen's Challenge Foundation
• Begin my own system for "giving back" with my business, The Crafty Angel
• Adopt a rescue pug
• Audition for the Tampa Bay Lightning to sing The National Anthem/O Canada.....I would have done that in 2012 were it not for the NHL lockout :(
• More quilts! More crafts! More jewelry! More artwork!
• Finish my HouseMD fanfics......oh let's get real. I will never be done LOL But at least I need to wrap up a few chapters ;)
• Connect more with my family and friends in 2013--Skype, texting and calling!
• Go to see the musical WICKED!!!! JANUARY!!!! 3rd row center!!!!
• Redesign my fish tank. I have one lonely fish in there. I'm redoing the entire tank and adding a few tankmates!
• Monster Jam. Yes, thanks to HouseMD I am now a Monster Jam fan, along with my son. GRAVEDIGGERRRRRRRRRR! CAN. NOT. WAIT.
• Turn my son's room into a REPTILE ROOM! lol that's just the decor theme ;) BUT he knows, if he keeps up the good work in school, he's going to get a bearded dragon (he wants to work with reptiles/amphibians)
• Begin planning the redesign of my daughter's room. She will graduate from HS this June and will be going away to school She has given me permission to redo the room and use it as my own "Beautique" ;)
• Begin the redesign of our own bedroom--it's a bit of an Indian/Moroccan theme. And if it looks like it does in my head, it's going to be awesome!
• Read. Even. More. I'm on Goodreads as Headacheslayer.
• BLOG. Even. More. I have a multitude of blogs that I want to try to update once a week. Or at least try.

So there you have it, my goals for the coming year. I really truly LOVE this list.

Happy New Year's! May 2013 bring you many blessings and joy!

A Birthday Post for my Husband

Today my Dear Husband is 43. We met when we were 18 and began dating a month later. After 24 years of being together and 20 years of marriage, I can't imagine my world without him. He is an incredible man; a loving husband; a devoted father.

So honey, here are 43 Things I Love About You...

1. Your sense of humor, even when (or especially when?) you make all of us groan with your puns.
2. You watch chick movies with me.
3. Your cooking is top-notch, whether it's a full Thanksgiving dinner, or Nadia G's mac & cheese.
4. You love my curves, all of them ;)
5. I never worry when you cut my hair--you always do a great job (and it saves us $$)
6. They way you are with kids and animals--signs of a truly incredible man.
7. You never make me feel embarrassed when I need help with something.
8. You work hard for our family.
9. You believe in being a true hands-on father.
10. Our daughter can have heart-to-heart talks with you.
11. You're teaching our son to play violin.
12. You don't mock me over my squeamishness to roaches.
13. You take care of item in #12
14. You have very hunky biceps ;)
15. You may look slightly older than you did at 18 but you still look far younger than 43
16. You did a great job teaching our daughter how to drive
17. You're my in-home IT guy
18. You let me listen to my CDs in the car on road trips
19. The way you tuck me in at night for bed
20. Your smile
21. Your laugh
22. Those gorgeous blue eyes
23. I love that our kids look like you (even if I'm an itty bit jealous)
24. You take my hormones in stride--whether it's death rays or lots of tears
25. I love spending time with you, even if it's just talking
26. I love that you love my friends
27. I love that you tried to grow a mustache for me
28. Your unconditional love for me and our children
29. You truly live by our marriage vows
30. Especially the "in sickness" part
31. You still know how to surprise me
32. Your support of my goals, dreams and ideas, no matter how out there they are
33. You let me keep the room cold to keep away my hot flashes
34. You are an incredible role model for our children
35. Your quiet strength and faith
36. The way you comfort me and stand by me through everything
37. You always think I'm beautiful, even when I don't feel like it.
38. You're always on my side
39. Taking on the role of caregiver, especially at medical appointments
40. You look HOT in a tuxedo
41. You look stunning while playing the violin
42. Through all our ups and downs, you still love me
43. I love that you are my husband. Mine.

And now you are as old as Sheldon's all time High Record for playing Hacky Sack ;)
LOVE YOU!!

Fall TV: Impressions part 2

I would be remiss if I didn't go more into detail about HOW FREAKING MUCH I LOVE some of the 2012 Fall Season new shows!

True, I did enjoy part of the *amazing* 48hr HouseMD Season 8 marathon on CLOO.  I haven't picked up the BluRay because I am waiting for the entire series to be transferred to this format. So it's been great seeing Seasons 7 and now 8 make it into syndication. Although watching hours of HouseMD S8 back to back brought me to one startling revelation: I would have rather put up with another year of Cuddy JUST so we didn't have the painful experience of having to watch Adams. There I said it. Not a Huddy. Never will be a Huddy. But I'll take her over the phenomenally BAD ACTING we had to endure because, sadly, Olivia Wilde was so smoking hot she got too many movie gigs to be more than in a few episodes.

Random hot photo of Olivia Wilde because THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE MY READERS.

So, back to the new shows....*snap snap* Eyes back here now.

Still ABSOLUTELY loving Elementary. Actor Jonny Lee Miller is......amazing. And so like House that I simply MUST love him. Digging Lucy Liu as well. This show can run forever. I can't say it is my favorite show this season, but one of my favorites! And yes I could listen to him forever, both speaking and on violin.

*SWOON*

Chicago Fire....Kind of  a more tame version of Rescue Me meets ER (god how I loved THAT show. Both actually.). I like it, I think it has a good cast but wow, am I having a time with Jesse Spencer's..."accent". The premiere episode, his normally soothing voice was just annoying. But ep2 is seemed better. I wish they'd just let him use his normal voice. Or get him a better vocal coach. God knows I love you Jessie, but please...your voice is distracting me from all those gorgeous bodies. Like, say, from this one

Hmm did it get a little warm in here? I think I need a fireman ;)

Speaking of truly HOT NEW GUYS ON FALL TV....

ARROW has hit a BULL'S EYE with me! Ok, so there were many times I half-expected to hear him growl "I'm Batman". Rich playboy, a hot body, able to kick ass, and his own little hideout/batcave, all while protecting his city. Yum yum yum. Truly, the CW is batting it out of the park this season!! (um. no pun intended there).

I've only watched one episode of Beauty and the Beast and I like it. Really. Without having watched the original series, I like the way they explain his "beastliness". But honestly the special effects need some tweaking. His transformation isn't really that...scary. And the plot twists are already a bit confusing. But I will keep watching.

Finally, one show I didn't mention in my previous post that I gave a whirl--and WOW I am so glad I did!--was Emily Owens M.D. FREAKING ADORABLE! and funny, and sweet. I'm really quite pleased with all the "feel goods" available this season. Goodness knows we could all use more positive shows.

How sweet is this face? And wouldn't you want her to be your doctor? The inner monologues are hysterical. I never watched Ally McBeal (I know, another sin against me) but something tells me this is rather much like the humor from that. I'm really quite stunned this is on CW....not that CW is a bad station, just lately most of the shows are aimed at the teen crowd and this show doesn't fit that demographic IMO. Plus, it is THAT GOOD. Loved every single minute of the premiere!

*EDITED TO ADD* Well NO WONDER I love this show and NO WONDER that actress Mamie Gummer is SO FANTASTIC. Her mom is Meryl Streep!

I can't make any observations on this season of Grimm just yet....um, they are all on my DVR. Still. My 10yo son LOVES this show and we haven't had a chance to sit and do a marathon together. So maybe this weekend, just in time for pre-Halloween spookiness ;) Ditto for American Horror Story--that's one show my 17yo daughter is crazy for (and she watches very little TV) so we need to do a mini-marathon of the first 2 eps of this season.

I'm going to catch Mockingbird Lane, it appears to be a type of remake of The Munsters--which is, sorry, a poor substitute for The Addams Family. Yes I watched it. But it just lacked the awesomeness that was TAF.

This does have some appeal from what I saw from the preview. So I'll give it a whirl in the spirit of Halloween fun ;) Plus, Eddie Izzard is just pure joy to watch!

Desperately missing Smash. I still need to buy the songs that were not released on CD. Glee is on hiatus....and WTH, Glee? I cried my head off the last episode. Starting to want to rename it to Glum. Don't get me wrong, I will be a Gleek forever but damn, the whole Blane/Kurt thing about broke my heart.

And still I say,

THANK GOD FOR DVRs.

Until next time.....